In order to keep a positive change permanent in your life, the transformation should ultimately be for yourself.
You might outlive the person for whom you are changing. He or she could eventually leave you. Once you lose the primary motive for bettering yourself, what will keep you from reverting to your old behavior? No matter how important it is to keep someone in your life, the odds of remaining on your best behavior decline over time if you haven’t changed for yourself.
Loved ones often put ultimatums on making a positive change. The people closest to you want the best for you, and if you don’t make changes for your own reasons, an ultimatum is often the only way they can encourage you to take your life seriously. This option often produces immediate results, yet damages the relationship and decreases the odds of permanent change. People who are given ultimatums often immediately or eventually resent the person who has made the ultimatum, even after acknowledging an improvement in quality of life.
Even if the change is not demanded by a loved one, a lack of self-respect underpins the efforts to change, and the desire to act out manifests itself in new bad decisions, or becoming better and more secretive in hiding the tell-tale signs of returning to old ways.
Don’t think that by changing for yourself is selfish. It’s emotionally mature. Being good is its own reward. Once you decide to make the change for yourself, you can enjoy lifelong results.
For help in making positive changes in your life, contact CrossRoads at 317-842-8881 to schedule an appointment if you live in the Central Indiana area.