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Pornography Addiction: Why is it Difficult to Cure?

Underlying factors of Pornography Addiction

Many people believe that simply stopping a behavior will cure addiction. The addiction isn’t cured until the underlying factors which caused the addiction are addressed and cured. When an addict simply stops one destructive behavior without healing their brokenness, they will seek new ways to “feel good” which prolong isolation and stunt their emotional growth.

An addiction is an “escape to pleasure.” It is also an inability to control the deep desire for the chosen means to gain pleasure. Addictions, particularly an addiction to pornography, are rooted in loneliness, isolation, and a lack of intimacy.

The Secretive Nature of Addiction

Pornography is usually a secretive addiction. Addictions to food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, and many other addictions are often shared with others who have the same addiction. Using pornography is (almost always) a solitary activity and is typically embarrassing for the user to admit. The pornography addict must first address the lack of intimacy and underlying issues in his or her life which leads them to “escape” into a fantasy world. (Fantasy is produced for pleasure in isolation and not in an intimate, mutual relationship.)

This chart shows the contrast between the common traits of a fulfilling life experienced by those with a well-balanced life and the common traits of  a  person suffering from pornography addiction.


Healthy interpretation of life experiences more common in a well-balanced life

Unhealthy interpretation of life experiences common to pornography addiction

Emotional Intimacy & Bonding Isolation and Objectification of others
Emotional Fulfillment Emotional Deprivation
Enjoys a sense of contentment in life Always wanting more; never satisfied
Well-adjusted Emotional Growth Shame-Based Development and outlook on life
Desire for intimacy, based on RESPECT FEAR of emotional intimacy
Faces problems/painful issues and GROWS Wants to FORGET something painful/Engages in activities to distract from pain
Authentic, Genuine, and Sincere Intimacy “Going through the motions” of relationships       The appearance of Intimacy—without substance
Reciprocal (MUTUAL) Alliance  Personal, self-centered (SELFISH)
Giving Taking
TRUST-Centered Connection  Emotional INDIFFERENCE
Capacity to feel EMPATHY Prurient interest (LUST)
PURITY of Intent (Caring/Sharing) Perversion of Intent
Inclined toward Spiritual Nurturing Focused on Human Nature desires
Willing to SACRIFICE for relationship Interested primarily in self-gratification
Based in sacred (agape) LOVE Based in Personal Lust for pleasure
Desires the best for their loved ones Focused on self-love
Submission to God and others for “sacrificial Love” and Grace Inability to submit to God and others—and therefore does not experience Grace.
Desire to SHARE Intimacy Desire to CONTROL (emotionally detached)
Statement of GENUINE Self True Self is HIDDEN/masked (fears discovery)
Maintained by TRUTH and TRUST Maintained by DECEPTION and DISHONESTY
Develops emotional ties Cannot develop emotional ties/ Relationships are not authentic
Relationship based in accountability Individual seeks ISOLATION/Secrecy


To enjoy a more fulfilling life

For help with this issue in the Central Indiana area, call CrossRoads at 317-842-8881. We can help you make a positive change in your life to end your addiction to pornography and establish healthy coping methods to improve your life and relationships.