Underlying factors of Pornography Addiction
Many people believe that simply stopping a behavior will cure addiction. The addiction isn’t cured until the underlying factors which caused the addiction are addressed and cured. When an addict simply stops one destructive behavior without healing their brokenness, they will seek new ways to “feel good” which prolong isolation and stunt their emotional growth.
An addiction is an “escape to pleasure.” It is also an inability to control the deep desire for the chosen means to gain pleasure. Addictions, particularly an addiction to pornography, are rooted in loneliness, isolation, and a lack of intimacy.
The Secretive Nature of Addiction
Pornography is usually a secretive addiction. Addictions to food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, and many other addictions are often shared with others who have the same addiction. Using pornography is (almost always) a solitary activity and is typically embarrassing for the user to admit. The pornography addict must first address the lack of intimacy and underlying issues in his or her life which leads them to “escape” into a fantasy world. (Fantasy is produced for pleasure in isolation and not in an intimate, mutual relationship.)
This chart shows the contrast between the common traits of a fulfilling life experienced by those with a well-balanced life and the common traits of a person suffering from pornography addiction.
Healthy interpretation of life experiences more common in a well-balanced life |
Unhealthy interpretation of life experiences common to pornography addiction |
| Emotional Intimacy & Bonding | Isolation and Objectification of others |
| Emotional Fulfillment | Emotional Deprivation |
| Enjoys a sense of contentment in life | Always wanting more; never satisfied |
| Well-adjusted Emotional Growth | Shame-Based Development and outlook on life |
| Desire for intimacy, based on RESPECT | FEAR of emotional intimacy |
| Faces problems/painful issues and GROWS | Wants to FORGET something painful/Engages in activities to distract from pain |
| Authentic, Genuine, and Sincere Intimacy | “Going through the motions” of relationships The appearance of Intimacy—without substance |
| Reciprocal (MUTUAL) Alliance | Personal, self-centered (SELFISH) |
| Giving | Taking |
| TRUST-Centered Connection | Emotional INDIFFERENCE |
| Capacity to feel EMPATHY | Prurient interest (LUST) |
| PURITY of Intent (Caring/Sharing) | Perversion of Intent |
| Inclined toward Spiritual Nurturing | Focused on Human Nature desires |
| Willing to SACRIFICE for relationship | Interested primarily in self-gratification |
| Based in sacred (agape) LOVE | Based in Personal Lust for pleasure |
| Desires the best for their loved ones | Focused on self-love |
| Submission to God and others for “sacrificial Love” and Grace | Inability to submit to God and others—and therefore does not experience Grace. |
| Desire to SHARE Intimacy | Desire to CONTROL (emotionally detached) |
| Statement of GENUINE Self | True Self is HIDDEN/masked (fears discovery) |
| Maintained by TRUTH and TRUST | Maintained by DECEPTION and DISHONESTY |
| Develops emotional ties | Cannot develop emotional ties/ Relationships are not authentic |
| Relationship based in accountability | Individual seeks ISOLATION/Secrecy |
| FUELED BY LOVE | FUELED BY LUST |
To enjoy a more fulfilling life
For help with this issue in the Central Indiana area, call CrossRoads at 317-842-8881. We can help you make a positive change in your life to end your addiction to pornography and establish healthy coping methods to improve your life and relationships.