Click here for the introductory document in this series.
Irrational Idea #2:
“To be considered worthwhile, I should be smart, high-achieving and above average (or excellent) in all respects.”
This idea is irrational because:
- Nobody’s perfect!
- Constant comparison to others and other compulsions of the perfectionist cause undue stress. Life cannot be enjoyed when pressured to live up to impossible, self-imposed demands.
- You may think that others are perfect without realizing that other people are also interested in covering their flaws and showing pride in their accomplishments.
- No one is perfect in everything they do and in all aspects of life.
- Fear of failure causes a fear to take chances. By avoiding risk and uncontrollable circumstances, you miss many learning opportunities.
- A perfectionist’s rigid standards will cause them to believe mistakes are catastrophes. This brings feelings of worthlessness.
Rational Idea: “I will do the best I can and learn from my mistakes.”
Use these tips to feel better about yourself, and live a better life:
- Do your best in all endeavors. If you fail, you have the satisfaction in knowing you’ve done your best—and that no one is perfect at all times.
- Failure is a learning experience.
- No matter how proactive you are, you can’t foresee every single possibility. Failure often occurs as a complete surprise. If you fail (or have a less than perfect outcome), realize that if you’ve failed, it doesn’t mean you are a failure.
- With this attitude, you can freely engage in competition and recognizes the opportunity to learn from an opponent. Push yourself to achieve but don’t hate yourself if you are beaten.
- Know that what you do should be for yourself—your personal gain—instead of being centered on gaining approval or beating/besting others.
- Practice and hard work are necessary; you can’t expect to be perfect on the first try.
For a happy and emotionally healthy life, contact CrossRoads for counseling at 317-842-8881 if you are in the Central Indiana area. This series was inspired by and sourced from “A Guide to Rational Living” by Albert Ellis and Robert Harper.